My Christmas Post

 

I’m not religious – nor am I truly into the whole Christmas spirit. With that said however, that does not mean that I do not celebrate such an event. Just because I no longer put up a beautiful sparkling tree and other decorations about my residence does not mean that I do not choose to celebrate such an event. I mean, Christmas? It’s an excuse to be a spend thrift. For some reason I often acquire more pleasure from buying gifts for others than I do from buying presents for myself. Additionally, the act of acquiring gifts is quite fun for often you are given presents that you may not purchase yourself due to a potentially excessive price. Then there is the excuse to eat something quite deliciously bad for your health, and the additional excuse to consume large amounts of alcohol. Long story short – it is in my best interest to celebrate such an event even if my Christmas spirit has, over the past few years, dwindled.

I think Christmas is mainly for the children. Personally, I believe that I am too adult and mature to fully appreciate what Christmas once meant for me when I was a child. It was so exciting to such an extent that on several occasions I was unable to eat my own breakfast because of the anxiety I felt in regards to imagining what gifts I would receive that day. Now that I have experienced this same event a good number of times, I basically know what is going to happen because I have enjoyed it before, and even though it is Christmas, it is still repetitive.

I do however believe that Christmas is about spending time with family and friends, and thanking them for being a part of your life by showering them with gifts. This year I spent Christmas with family; namely my mum and dad. In the past I have had friends and even prior partners that I have enjoyed the event with, but this year – not so much.

That however does not make the act of receiving gifts any less enjoyable.

My pile of presents

My pile of presents

My mother's presents that I purchased for her

My mother’s presents that I purchased for her

...and the gifts I bought my father. If you can't alreday tekll - that gold parcel - real bastard to wrap that thing was

…and the gifts I bought my father. If you can’t already tell – that gold parcel – real bastard to wrap that thing was

In my view, the act of wrapping up the presents that you buy is as important as purchasing them. This opinion is one that I have always held. In my view, wrapping up a present is an act of love, for you are taking time out from your busy schedule to wrap that which will most likely not want to be wrapped, and will no doubt fight you tooth and nail to not be tucked away beneath an endless amount of wrapping paper. However, over the past couple of years I have noticed many individuals making their way to stalls within supermarkets to have their presents wrapped for them by others. In my opinion, this contradicts an essential part of what Christmas stands for. Do you have an opinion on this?

As I mentioned earlier in this post, Christmas is an excuse to indulge in that which you normally wouldn’t. Safe to say my exercise routine has been severely compromised from such a feast.

yummy?

yummy?

...on closer inspection. And yes, I made Christmas dinner this year. Also, that gravey - probably has more calories than the entire meal combined

…on closer inspection. And yes, I made Christmas dinner this year. Also, that gravy – probably has more calories than the entire meal combined

Dessert - the Pavlova.

Dessert – the Pavlova.

I really love my cappuccino

I really love my cappuccino

After dinner, I was as stuffed as this guy. I kid you not - I looked like the side of a house

After dinner, I was as stuffed as this guy. I kid you not – I looked like the side of a house

I know that many cooks often hate that which they make (or so I have been told) but I have to say I think I did a not half bad job. On the plus side my mother was glad to be out of the kitchen, for Christmas dinner is often a long drawn out process.

One thing I have always enjoyed, although I cannot entirely explain why, are the bon bons. This year however, they were surprisingly worse than usual. Only two of them contained jokes, so I was ripped off on four separate occasions (not that the jokes are ever really funny – I mean ‘why did the germ move across the microscope? To get to the other side!’ – that ain’t even Christmasy. Nor it is funny). You may have noticed a bottle opener in one of my above photos – yeah – you just know where that came from. If it can actually open a bottle, I would be deeply surprised.

On another note, the favourite gift I received for Christmas this year would have to be the Halo 4 Original Soundtrack, along with the additional six songs that I downloaded online. True, a soundtrack may not sound very impressive, but after playing the game a couple times over I had come to really appreciate the musical genius of the entertaining piece.

My second most favourite present would have to be Castle, seasons three and four. For reasons I cannot explain this series is always ridiculously expensive, so to have these two seasons purchased for me, is a relaxing weight off my shoulders.

The third favourite gift I received this year was a new Samsung mobile – a GT-C3520 Clam Shell. I realise that a phone in the eyes of many others would potentially be the most prized present received, but for me, it is simply a communicative device – nothing more. Additionally, I realise that Smart Phones are incredibly popular these days, but never have I come to truly appreciate them. I know they are capable of a wide variety of different things, but really – I find them a waste. True – you can watch films, surf the net, read and write documents, play music and do a whole manner of other things from playing games to no doubt eliminating Sunday drivers. In my opinion though, if you want to watch a film – buy a BluRay player. You want to read a book; buy a Kindle or other like device, or go out there and physically buy a living breathing book. Not that books live and breathe – that would be scary. If you want to surf the net or type a document – use a laptop. What happened to the days when phones were used to talk to people from long distances, or am I just old fashioned? But that’s my opinion, so please excuse my semi-rant for a moment there.

Lastly, I did enjoy my Christmas this year, and I hope everyone else did too.

Did you enjoy your Christmas this year? Did you see this holiday as an excuse to pig out? What are your thoughts and feelings about this annual holiday celebration?

Cheers!

It’s Amazing how your Life Changes

 

One day you are involved in doing one thing – and the next you are doing something completely different. You have changed your life’s endeavors; you have adapted and evolved to life’s unexpected twist and turns; you have lost someone close to you, whether it be a broken friendship or a break up and so are forced to alter your plans for the future. So many occurrences each year alter that which we are eventually going to become.

I remember when I was thirteen and fourteen I wanted to hang out with what some might have referred to as the ‘cool crowd.’ And they accepted me – which was pretty awesome in itself. There is always a catch though. If you feel something is too good to be true it probably is. There was no way the ‘cool’ kids would accept someone that probably wasn’t quite as ‘cool’, or who wasn’t ‘cool’ at all, and yet here they were, giving me a bone. Well, the catch in this case was that it turned out they all hated my rotten guts and would sooner step on my head if they saw me drowning rather than give me a hand up, so I quickly left their little club. Instead, I found a new group of friends that actually shared the same traits and mannerisms, views and values as I. It was a perfect fit, and still to this day is – when we have the time to communicate.

Again, when I was in primary school, due to my insatiable hunger for video games, I really wanted to become involved in graphic design and the orchestration of such entertainment. Of course, this proved to be an ineffective idea because I did not have the credentials to ever become involved in such a field. I’m no good at the terrible algebra based equations and other such ridiculous mathematical ideologies; I’m not very good at graphical design, and I’m not very good at computer programs that are ridiculously difficult to utilise.
Then in high school when I was in a band, I think all of us wanted to continue to perform on a more professional level than that which we currently resided at. However, when our band broke up for reasons that up until that very moment were completely unforeseen and unfortunately unpredictable, that dream of ours came to an immediate end.

Additionally, I was interested in pursuing a career in acting, but to become involved in a course that revolves around this career at university, one needs to acquire the highest of high grades. I did acquire a few A’s and an A+, but on average I was predominantly a B student. In 2009, according to the statistics, a good few thousand people applied for the acting course at Melbourne University (apparently one of the top ten university’s in Australia) – only two were accepted. Yes, you read that right; two out of a few thousand candidates were accepted into the course. I knew that I would never be one of them and so decided to pursue my other passion; writing.

Now, with my three year undergraduate course nearly complete, I need to decide whether I will continue on with my postgraduate course, and if so, at which institution and what variant? Or will I go out and find a place in the workforce?

Another part of life that changes exponentially are the responsibilities that are placed upon your shoulders as you grow older. When young, everything is so simple, and I really envy the children of today. You can just tell that behind those innocent (?) young eyes, not one of them has a clue for the surprise they are in for when they eventually grow up. Or maybe they will grow up too fast? Sometimes I feel that happened to me – as though I did not have enough time to be young and enjoy what life hath been given to me. What are the repercussions of failing to enjoy youth to its full? When young, you run around the house and the world outside having a gay old time. You watch TV to your heart’s content and play with random plastic figurines. As you grow up, the time that you have for fun becomes minimised as the expectations of life, including giving back to society with money, hard work and effort begin to become dominating factors in influencing the choices that one develops.

Like I said – it is amazing how your life changes. On one hand, that makes the ride that is life quite interesting. On the other hand it can be disappointing and blatantly annoying.

What do others think about what I have conjured up on this subject matter? Agree, disagree? By all means, please, your opinions are welcome!

Naughty Nefarious, signing off!

The time I popped my nightclub cherry

 

Contains some coarse language, sexual and adult references

After my last post ‘do women dig nightclubs’, I thought it might be best to continue the tradition of that post by talking about the time I went to my first nightclub. So, here goes…

It’s 2008. It’s November. The year is almost up. Nick, a friend of mine at the time and I decide to go to a nightclub. No, we did not go together-together. Did you see what I just did? Now, I ain’t homophobic, but at the very inkling of the idea that someone is going to interpret two blokes going somewhere as anything but two blokes going somewhere, even the most un-homophobic individual can suddenly become the most defensive in less than half a millisecond. Of course, this goes for more than just the written word or communication in general. I have heard that some blokes don’t like travelling in cars with other blokes, because if the bloke behind the wheel is driving too fast and the car is pulled over, the cops might think there was a little more than driving going on inside the vehicle. I have also heard that some guys don’t like having their prostate checked because although the experience is meant to be quite awkward, daunting even, especially if something untoward is found, it has been suggested by some that if there is really nothing wrong going on in there, the whole experience doesn’t actually feel all that bad – which is what blokes are most afraid of. I guess on one hand a person could argue that if a bloke liked having a hand shoved up there, he might like having something else shoved up there too…

…But, back on topic. The both of us were good friends at the time, and we have not spoken since, and judging by what happened, it probably ain’t all that hard to understand. Brother from another mother is the term Nick used to describe me. Anyway, at the time, and to this day, I did not own me self a pair of wheels, and so Nick had to do the driving.

Now, don’t ask me the name of the night club. I have forgotten…at least that is my story. No, we didn’t burn the place down – but we probably did tarnish the good reputation of the establishment, along with our own by being there that night.

At the time the both of us, well, let’s just say we were not looking good in the romance department. The both of us were looking at a life in which it seemed almost impossible that we would ever have sex. I mean, being a heterosexual man, you can’t have sex without a woman being involved, right? And that was the problem. There were no women involved in our lives period. So, the year was coming to its conclusion and the end was nigh. Why not go to a nightclub to see what could be seen. To experience what could be experienced.

I learnt a couple things when I arrived. One, the queue that was outside – it went for miles, totally. Plus, it was moving incredibly slowly. You could have reserved your place in the line, gone and done your grocery shopping (had the stores being open) come back, and your place in line would still be there like a legless dog – right where you left it.

Two, how to describe door bitches and blokes? (Is that what they’re even called, you know, the guys who stand at the doors to a club as security to keep the invalids from entering). Well, how to describe ‘em? 100% muscle, 0% brain. At least that is how they look – in reality, not much gets past ‘em. Probably because they’re all so huge, but it did not simply mean in the physical sense. You really can’t trick ‘em. I guess in the advertisements sections they asked for the smartest, biggest, scariest most bad ass people imaginable – who look incredibly dumb. That way, people just generally assume their lack of intellect and do not plan to be apprehended by a smart guard.

Three, the stamp they apply to your wrist? For one, they shove it down so hard onto your flesh, it is almost as though they are intentionally trying to break your hand. I guess those guys who stamp your wrist know that if the nightclub business ever goes under they can always get themselves a job at Madame Estefan’s House of Pain. Second, they specify how it is waterproof, sweat proof, but at the same time washable? Yeah, well, let’s just say that I scrubbed at it a couple occasions after this night, and two weeks later it still looked to be permanently etched into my body, kind of like that tattoo of an ex-girlfriend that seems like a really good idea at the time. Let’s say, I know how Lady Macbeth felt, and the next time I read such a piece of literature I really felt for the old gal.

Four, the word ‘loud’, even with the word ‘very’, or ‘excruciatingly’ placed before it – does not even begin to describe how ‘loud’ a nightclub is. The music is like a billion decibels. The people screaming and jumping around make it even louder, and I suddenly realised – all those times I thought I felt an earthquake – it was probably a cool couple hundred people combined jumping up and down in a club together. So next time you feel the earth move – check your nearest night club before you assume it’s anything but a stampede.

Five, there really isn’t much space. It’s a ‘balls to the wall’ experience, literally. You find yourself pressed up against the walls of the club with very little oxygen, and everyone is trying to steal yours right out from your lungs in a vain effort to survive the night.

Six, the lighting no doubt has the capability to cause seizures and/or embolisms and/or schizoid episodes and/or psychopathic behavior. So, if you’re ever at a club and a deranged psychopath comes at you with a knife – it ain’t their fault – it’s the lighting!

So, there we were – Nick and I – finally inside the labyrinth that was totally beyond the beyond. Whatever we had expected – it was anything but. We made our way to the bar, ordered ourselves a couple drinks and spun around on the stools to get a look for the place.

I will say this. When you walk around your neighborhood, you see some foxy ladies who you think are out of your league. At high school, you see some even foxier ladies who you believe are completely out of your league. At a night club – you will see ladies so fuckin’ foxy that to even call them ‘fuckin’ foxy’ will not begin to describe just how ‘fuckin’ foxy’ they really are!

I never realised women could come in so many different shapes and sizes. Big ones, fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, straight ones, diagonal ones, irregular ones, triumphant ones, ones that resemble the Bermuda triangle (people walk around ‘em and never come back), ones that resemble super models, ones that have the runs (I mean they are puking up shit from their mouths). There are so many that eventually, you come across some that defy all manner of description.

So, what did Nick and I do exactly? Well, we simply sat there for a few minutes. Never had we seen so many foxy women. As for dancing – well, that was the last thing on our minds at that point. On the other hand, neither of us were really good dancers. I mean, the best I could do at the time was the ‘shake my head in disbelief’. What? You haven’t heard of this one? It’s simple really. You turn your head to the left. Then you turn your head to the right. And then you proceed in continuing this over and over again.

Simply put – Nick and I were not at the nightclub long. We came to the conclusion, quite quickly actually when I come to think about it, that we had as much chance as hooking up (is this the right lingo ‘ere?) with one of the ladies there as we did of staring in our own reality sitcom. So, with that in mind, we left – and basically pretended this never happened and swore a vow to never speak of this again!

The End!

Naughty Nefarious, signing off – and feeling a little embarrassed after sharing such a moment with you as he does so.

The way the Video Gaming Industry has Changed

 

Just a heads up – there is a naughty profanity in this piece…somewhere. Don’t remember where though.

Has it changed? Well, you be the judge. What was once a rather unpopular industry is now incredibly well known, with more video games purchased in the US than movies in 2010 alone. I find this to be quite the figure, for it is far easier in my opinion to purchase a film, especially one that is pirated. Now, I ain’t admitting to anything, so any law enforcements officers reading this post should not take my words as those of a person incriminating himself. I am but saying that the copyright protection software on movies is pathetic when in comparison to that which is used for games, with far more in depth programs needed to get past the protection on each disc. So when the statistics say more games were purchased, I find it to be quite the statistic.

Then again, 2010 was a big year for games; Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2, Bayonetta, Metro 2033, Halo Reach, just to name a few. But this is beside the point. The main issue I want to talk about is the popularity that has exponentially increased over the past few years. Now, more game companies have emerged across the globe, with more and more people from producers, directors and developers all realising the sheer potential behind the gaming market and all vying for the ability to be involved in the business. With more popularity means more customers, which in turn means more profit.

Who can remember when a video game was less than one hundred dollars? (Oz prices) Less than fifty? I remember when my family and I purchased Doom 2 all those many, many years ago on our trip to America, the game then being thirty six dollars if my memory serves me accurately. Thirty six dollars? That is American of course, but in a time when most games start at around one hundred and most leading retailers go all the way to one hundred and seventy five with their prices if it so happens to come in a shiny tin with a couple additional features, which is purely ridiculous for a special edition DVD usually costs fifty dollars, if that, I feel the price to be exorbitant.

On top of that, what you are purchasing has decreased as well. Now yes, I will admit, the graphics are flawless in comparison to where they once started and the experiences are just as incredibly fun, if not more so, with vibrant storylines and fantastic characters to lead you into the fabulous world of the game. However, what once left you with what could have been up to twenty hours of gaming, if not more, is now less than ten, and sometimes six. It took me four hours and thirty six minutes to clock Home Front on hard when it was released in 2011. I completed it the day I bought it. Now, what kind of deal is that? I spend one hundred and six dollars on a product that was yes, entertaining, challenging and engaging, but so short? I just got started and was beginning to enjoy myself when everything was cut short, and so soon?

I remember in 2007 when I played Crysis, I was disappointed that the game did not end the way Far Cry did. Far Cry had twenty levels of mayhem – Crysis, only eleven, with no visible ending in sight. Of course, if it had ended then Crysis 2 which in my opinion was a totally friggin’ amazing piece of gaming would not have been invented, so I guess a ‘thank you’ needs to go out to Crytek for doing what they did, and the franchise would additionally not be continuing on for a third time next year.

My point? And I do have one, is that what once was gaming has changed. This change is not as elaborate as the updated graphics or the famous voice over actors or the change in developers or even the wild and frantic fun that occurs during game play. No, it is money, and I do not mean the large allotments that we, the gamers fork out every year. With Darksiders 2, Far Cry 3 and halo 4 I’m looking to lose two hundred and seventy five dollars at the least, but that is not what concerns me. It is the greed of the industry that does. I remember once, which seems so long ago now, when I could walk into a store, pick up a game box, shake it up and down and hear the disc and the booklet jiggling around on the inside. Now, when I pick up a box and shake it – all I hear is the rising and the falling of the dividend.

Also, many games don’t even come with booklets anymore, another feature gone. Some companies might say they are saving the lungs of the Earth, but what they are really saving is the money they have accumulated from such a massive market.

Adjunctively size, and I do not mean yet again in the length of the game, but the amount of bytes it takes up on your machine as dramatically changed. I remember back in the day with Quake and Hexen which were unanimously a couple MEGABYRES each. I remember how I was unsure at the best of times as to what storage device to put them on – My Documents? Or C? Back in the day the computer only had a 1 gigabyte system so every megabyte spent actually meant something. Quite ridiculous when I come to think about it cuz now a days games are anywhere between 16 to 24 GIGABYTES each! To think back in the day I had to delete one of my games as to have the other installed onto the system cuz there just wasn’t enough space. Now, I have a cool terabyte of space and a portable terabyte which can be used to install all manner of programs onto, so space is never an issue. Back in the day there were around maybe three games on my computer at any given time. Now, there is at least twenty times that amount on my gaming computer alone, not to mention the amount of titles I have on XOBOX 360 and PS3.

Additionally, I remember when gaming was considered weird. Back when the first game was developed by some ‘nerd’ some might say, who thought ‘you know, I could write a program for that computer’ people probably though him to be insane (there was only one well known woman involved in gaming back all those years ago, so calling the guy a ‘him’ is not maliciously sexist). The gaming companies were tiny, I mean, look at Id! What was it? Between six and twelve people were involved in developing Doom, which is considered one of the greatest accomplishments in gaming history – the game that changed it all. Now, there are hundreds of people per company, not to mention everyone else required for the job. And those who played them? Who were they? I’ll tell you! Freaks! Losers! That is what I was branded by my peers and I’m sure others were too. Only a select few participated in playing games back in the early to late nineties. I played my first game was I was only three, when many of my peers were running around the backyard slapping the tap with a plastic spanner, hoping to be the next best plumber. I graduated from learning games like Chess to Heretic, then to Doom, Doom 2, Hexen, Hexen DK, Quake, and so on and so forth. I remember playing games at school, where the teachers prowled the arenas of the learning environment with massive sticks up their arses, hoping to catch that bad student and really make ‘em pay! Right under their noses we played multiplayer matches of Quake and Doom, and later Heavy Gear and Alien vs. Predator. Then in High School, we graduated to playing Quake 3 Arena, Unreal Tournament and Counter Strike, kicking ass in the computer pod, and as soon as the teachers arrived like clockwork, so friggin’ predictable they all were… we had already minimised the game and proceeded with the boring assignment we had been tasked to complete. I remember the girls shaking their heads at us, incapable of understanding how we could be enjoying ourselves whilst staring into a mindless box, whilst now a days they play COD with their boyfriends, well, when their boyfriends get bored from dying so friggin’ often of course. But not all teachers and students were so defiant in their beliefs that we were the freaks. I remember by Media teacher in Year Eleven, he comes in – and he busts us for the first time! He yells at one student, telling him to go back and slave away on his project, and once the student leaves? He sat down in his spot and began to play Counter Strike with us! He had no idea where to put the bomb, and it was funny to call him a ‘dumb cunt’ and have him not know who said it. But it was in this same period of time that others began to play, and play, and play, and as the more gamers entered our world and crowded it with their desires, the game developers began to change the way they made them; they became shorter; more expensive; and money and big business inevitably destroyed the one organisational organism that was yet to be touched by the hand of organisational greed.

‘So long’ I said to my first great, faithful love, of  whom I had plucked from my desk when I was but three and had grown to make sweet, passionate love to on a frequent basis. ‘So long my lovely. I will miss you.’ And just like that, like the many women who had broken my heart over the years, the one I had loved the most was gone – replaced by the new and considered ‘improved’ version, who wanted money and lots of it in replace for a shortened amount of fun.

So is it really a good thing that there are more gamers? If gaming was still unpopular amongst the masses do you think games would be so short and expensive? Or was it but an inevitability?

I prefer the old ways. But the graphics of today and the experiences we have, with characters the likes of Commander Sheperd, Master Chief, the Little Sisters, Alma Wade, Captain Price, Sergeant Fenix, all of it, are absolutely irreplaceable.

So is it a case of take the good with the bad? Perhaps. But like I said, I only wish that maybe it were still less popular. Now, there are so many gamers, and the time when I stood alone in a room, knowing I was unique and different because when I got home I would kill hordes of mutants and horrific alien enemies intent on our destruction – whilst everyone else would go play backyard soccer and maybe even work and do other, you know, boring things. That time has passed, I know, and I have adapted, but the pain is still there.

Damn the changing gaming industry. I only hope you continue to make me happy for the rest of my life. Unlike all the other people I love today (excluding my parents) from my Celeb crushes, to the young woman at university I wish I could confess my feelings towards, you might be the one I will never fall out of favor with, as long as you never fall out of favor with me.  I love you with all my heart video game world. Now please, do not break it once again, for if you change again, I only hope it is into something far more beautiful than what you are now. Hugs and kisses to you.

This is Naughty Nefarious, signing off.

LOL?

It was only up until recently that I came to notice how ridiculously often the term ‘lol’ is used, especially by the fairer sex, and how infrequently the act of laughing out loud occurred in comparison. Ten years ago the term ‘lol’ was barely used, if ever. In fact, I would go so far to say that I never heard anyone use the term. But I recently also discovered I had spent half my life living under a rock, so I can’t really for the life of me say. What I can state however, is that now the term is used so frequently to the extent that it almost seems as though people in general have forgotten how to laugh out loud.

Now, I am certain that many people would argue against me on this, so allow me to retort to any and all who would say how wrong I am in my assertions. I am also certain that one could not argue that saying ‘lol’ is easier than laughing, or that it is perhaps more fun. By laughing you convey how hilarious what you are laughing at truly is, and if it is someone’ else’s joke, then this would please them, and if it was at someone’s expense, well, then that would at least please yourself.

I am quite disappointed that such is indeed occurring moreover. I prefer it when a woman laughs out loud rather than using such terminology to describe the act. It’s reflective of someone saying ‘that’s funny’ after somebody tells a joke rather than laughing politely. For when a woman laughs, she appears more incredibly beautiful than she ever did before. A woman’s eyes grow brighter and her face lights up like the roaring sun iteslf as the immense happiness of the act engulfs her. Everyone else is apparently absent from the room when this occurs, all eyes being drawn towards this unbelievable sight.

Now, by saying ‘lol’ all that beauty that was once developed is all but gone. If a woman was quite, well, ‘bouncy’, for lack of a better word,  it was often great to make her laugh because then she might ‘bounce’ some more. However, ‘lol’ does not involve bouncing of any kind, so what once was, is now lost. In my view, perhaps everyone should stop telling jokes in general if in the future ‘lol’ is going to be the only thing pouring out from the mouths of the general public.

The problem here is that when a new ‘fad’ comes along, a great majority of the public begin to utilise it. ‘Lol’ is the new fad I speak of, and, like all fads, is being used by all. I only hope, again like all fads, that it eventually burns itself out so that I could perhaps hear a woman laugh once more before I kick off.

This is of course and as always, just my opinion.

Now, if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go and try to make a young beauty laugh. I know, a very difficult chore, but I feel it is one that must be done all the same.