If you are broke, do you have the right to ask someone out on a date?

In the past on this blog I have asked two questions regarding relationships, including ‘do guys date women who remind them of their mothers’ after reading an article on the subject and feeling a little queasy at the thought, to asking ‘do women date guys who wear glasses’, which was more of a rhetorical question, but I was glad for the feedback generated by it.

Today I am asking another question, and as suggested by the title, it is as follows: if you are broke, or are not economically comfortable, do you have the right to ask someone out?

Over the course of this post I am going to be talking about a man asking a woman out, however, the same argument can be made for anyone of any gender in any relationship.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m broke, don’t get me wrong. Of course, I wouldn’t openly admit to such an embarrassing notion even if I was. At the moment I have the money to sustain myself and acquire the necessities (food, etc) and can acquire entertainment on an occasional basis, however, if I were in a relationship, I have no evidential proof of how long I would be able to afford to go out with a woman before I inevitably ran out of money to date her, let alone support my own existence.

I think it is an obvious connotation, that if a guy asks a woman out, then he is expected to pay for, well, a lot, and I will not argue against this assumption. If you are asking someone out, you are asking for their time and their commitment and so you should fork out the money to enjoy their company. You are asking them to accompany you to places and to spend time with your friends. If you were not a part of their life they would be spending their time doing other things, and so, if you ask me, the man should put up most, if not all the money for the time that he is lucky to be spending with a living, breathing human being that they like.

However, if you do not have the money to accommodate for this, then I am unsure whether the man has the right to even ask the woman that he fancies out. I believe it would be plain rude for a man to ask for a woman to spend her time with him, only to say after a decent night’s meal at a fancy restaurant ‘oh, I don’t think I can entirely afford this, do you mind paying for half the bill?’
A woman may have agreed to go out with the man, but I cannot imagine her ever agreeing to pay for the meal that the man wanted her to have with him, nor would I even want her to. Maybe I’m strange, but I feel a man would have quite the nerve to ever do that to a woman. I’m not saying a woman could not afford it, not at all; I’m saying that she probaly would not have attended this restaurant if the man had not asked her there, so why ask this certain lady to put her hard earned cash into the equation when it was the man who asked her to be there in the first place?

Adjunctively, what if a woman left her former partner to have a relationship with a man who had recently captivated her attention, only to discover that he was not as economically stable as the partner she recently left? Would she not feel horribly cheated?

The reason I am asking these questions right now is as follows – if a man does not believe he can afford to take a woman out for the period of longevity that he would like the relationship to last, should he simply not bother to ask a woman out at all?
This may seem like an easy decision to make when written on paper, or in this case, a blog, but I would argue against that therom.

I believe that as soon as we humans in general agree to have a romantic relationship with another person, that we give up the ignorance we were originally born with, that ‘ignorance’ being our unknowing of how it feels to be in love. The moment we welcome someone into our heart, I believe that we become accustomed to that feeling, and thus, cannot live without it. I’m not saying that dating is like oxygen, and is thus a mandatory part of life, but I am arguing that if that first person we date were to leave us, it leaves a hole, and every time anyone leaves from that moment on, the hole returns.
Before dating we had no idea of the pain felt when someone leaves. We also had no idea of the loneliness felt when we do not have a paramour in our lives. True, if a person has friends and family they are not essentially ‘alone’ per se, but there is a difference between the hole left from not having family, and the hole left from not having a love interest.

I can’t really believe I am going to admit to this (however I will because it will strengthen my argument), but I myself have not been in a relationship for over a couple of years, and I can assure you dear reader if you do not already know, that what I noted in the previous paragraph is true, at least for me. Although I have friends and family, they cannot fill the hole that is now meant for a paramour, and it does become quite brutal every so often when I realise how many a night is the same – dinner for one, dessert for one, wine for twelve (maybe I’m kidding about the wine, or am I?).
It would just be nice to have someone in my life that I could love because, well, isn’t it nice to love someone and to be loved back? I’m sure there is not a single person out there who will disagree.

Now, unless I’m destined to spend the rest of my existence alone, and I would hate for that to come to fruition, I would like to think there is still hope for me, which comes all the way back to my original question – do I have the right to ask a woman I like out if I cannot fathom I will be able to always afford the ability to take her out?
Of course, there is more to dating than going to fancy restaurants, clubs and theaters, and I am sure continuously having a woman over at my place for dinner, or cooking at hers; or making every date night a movie night, will inevitably become quite boring.
Besides, if you like someone, there is the expectation that one must shower them with gifts every so often. The argument ‘I will always love you’ in my opinion has not been enough for some time, and unless you can show a woman your affection through jewellery, clothes and other like accessories, I do not think that the four letter word in the three word sentence will always remain believable.

On this note, image is just as important as affection, which is often where economics comes into this, for money does pertain to a person’s lifestyle. Now, I am not an expert on women (who is?), but I think it is a fact (and if it’s not then I beg the forgiveness of every woman on the planet) that women like men who are: good looking, older than they are, mature, confident, economically comfortable and suitable to the lifestyle the woman enjoys, have their own place of accommodation (basically, they are not a kipper and still sleep over at mum’s house when they are nearly thirty years of age), own a car of their own (and can drive it, although I think ownership usually implies driving capability), are in a professional occupation, and on top of that, have the ability to keep a job for a period of longevity.

Although I can admit to having some of these qualities, I would be lying if I did not openly admit that all of these do not necessarily describe the man I am today. Again, this leads to the question, do I have the right to ask a woman out if I am not economically stable?

Additionally, does a man have the right to ask a woman out if he is still in is twenties and lives with his parents?
Does a man have the right to ask a woman out if he does not own a car?
Does a man have the right to ask a woman out if he is not incredibly popular and really good looking?

I’m not saying those three above questions pertain to me, but they do fall into the same category as the primary question that I had begun this post with. I think I am getting ahead of myself here, but I do believe all of these questions can be asked.

Now, perhaps these ideologies are simply those generated by a mind that is lacking confidence in the area of dating? Maybe so, but the fact remains the same that money is unequivocally an important factor in a relationship. According to research statistics recovered online, it costs between 2-4 thousand dollars a year to maintain a stereotypical relationship, and if one does not believe they can afford this kind of money, should he attempt to orchestrate a relationship with a woman in the first place?

I realise I keep asking the same question time and time again, and that will be the last time I do so.
This here is just my opinion. Any other opinions on the subject will be very welcome in the comments section below.

Thank you for reading, and I bid all of you a good day.

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Absolutely Lovely

Recently, the awesome gaming guru CheeeseToastie (http://cheeesetoastieandvideogames.com/) nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award, which I am very thankful for.  😀

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As with all awards there are rules, and this, as always, is no exception. After thanking the nominator, the blogger writes seven facts about themselves, nominates seven other bloggers and notifies them of the nomination. Doesn’t sound too difficult, does it? (said with very little confidence as sweat pours across my facial features whilst my body shakes in terror)

Okay, so seven things about me…

One: I am at a loss – seriously, I have no idea what to write about right now!

Two: My favorite gaming console is the XBOX, and I will always be more devoted to the Microsoft products than I will be to those developed by Sony.

Three: I am a poem loving junkie. I especially have a thing for poets who used old English, including the likes of William Shakespeare, John Donne and Andrew Marvell.

Four: I am currently undertaking a Master of Creative Writing and Editing at Melbourne University. I must have been really lucky to get into this institution, that’s all I can say! There are signs up around the campus on the walls and on the floors illustrating how Melbourne University is the no. 1 university in all of Australia – kind of pretentious actually.

Five: I love coffee. You get in the way of me and my coffee, well, just don’t, then you won’t ever have to suffer my wrath!

Six: I can’t dance. Well, actually I can, but I personally wouldn’t call it dancing – I’d call it watching the world end.

Seven: What do you call a cow behind the wheel of a tractor: A cowtastrophe waiting to happen – now you know something else about me – I’ve a terrible sense of humor.

And my seven nominees are:

AnnJohnsonMurphree – http://annjohnsonmurphreeauthor.wordpress.com/

Jack Flacco – http://jackflacco.com/

Kellydoscope – http://kelleydoscope.com/

PM – http://prinsesamusang.wordpress.com/

Reviews and Rants – http://mandarox.wordpress.com/

Stuff I tell my Little Sister – http://stuffitellmysister.me/

The Duck of Indeed – http://duckofindeed.wordpress.com/

Again, thank you to CheeeseToastie for the nomination!

Have a great day guys!  😀

Getting slapped in the face by the many pages of thy many books

Recently, the beautiful PM wrote an interesting post on a meme concerning books, and after inviting me to partake in a post of my own, well, who am I to say ‘no’? PM’s interesting little nugget can be found here peeps…http://prinsesamusang.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/walking-through-the-cemetery-of-my-not-so-forgotten-books/

So, without further ado, time to answer some questions it would seem…

Author you’ve read the most books from: Andrew Daddo, JK Rowling, John Whitman, John Saul, William Shakespeare (although technically these were plays and poetry collections rather than actual books)

Best Sequel Ever: I’ll probably steal PM’s answer and say one of the Harry Potter texts – The Goblet of Fire no doubt.

Currently Reading: Floundering, Romy Ash

Drink of choice while reading – I normally don’t drink from fear of spilling it, but if I had to say, either coffee, water or wine

E-reader or physical book: I’m an old dinosaur (not really) and will always go with the physical version. I have tried e-readers and I have never truly adapted to them. I like to feel an actual text – the moving of the pages as I turn them over – being able to close the text and open it again, as though I am temporarily locking the characters up to reveal them again and give them life at a later date.

Fictional character you probably would have dated in high school – Difficult to say, but I will note this, when I was younger and was reading Animorphs, I had a thing for Cassie. Since high school, my taste in women has not changed much, and although I can think of many intelligent women from books, I also have a thing for women with tattoos and piercings, and none of them spring to mind when remembering any books…

Glad you gave this book a chance – the Book of Lies by James Moloney. My mother bought this for me in high school because when I was  a lot younger I used to tell lots of lies and she said she saw this book and immediately thought of me. Glad she did, because this was a really interesting fantasy adventure!

Hidden gem book:  Perhaps Andrew Daddo’s Dacked – his short story collections were so relatable when I was a teenager from the voice of the character to the life experiences, and although they were meant to be funny, I never really laughed that much, but I was certainly entertained, and it was because of this man’s short stories that I began to write a few of my own.

Important Moment in your reading life – perhaps the above mentioned book, because, like I said, this assisted me in taking my own writing endeavors more seriously.

Just finished – Foster, Claire Keegan

Kind of books you won’t read – I once began 50 Shades of Grey for an assignment at university. I was at least 15 pages into it before I slammed my face into my desk in an attempt to end my horrific torment. Since then, I can officially say, that erotic romance is not my thing, and neither is romance in general – unless its poetry – I just darn well love me some romantuic poetry.

Longest book you read – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix certainly felt that way the first time I read it. Then when I went back to it later I thought ‘eh, you ain’t that big!’

Major book hangover because of:  perhaps Terrible Times by Eddie Dickens. This was in I do believe 2003 mind you, but when I started reading this, I simply could not stop!

Number of bookcases you own – 2, both the same height as I, and I am one tall drink of water!

Book you have read multiple times – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone, sometimes called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, depending on what country you live in.

Preferred place to read – my couch and my floor – I like being all spread out, funnily enough I have never truly become accustomed to reading in bed though…

Quote that inspires you – Yeah, don’t have one, sorry guys! No, scratch that, I do! ‘so long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.’ William Shakespeare wrote this in his fifteenth sonnet ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day’ which emphasises immortalising a beautiful young woman forever in the art of writing, and to this day I have kept this in mind – when writing about someone I love, my goal is to immortalise them inside a textual piece for all of time so other people may love her too!

Reading Regret – can’t remember the title, it was an Australian book about a football player who was hired by a PR company for an ad that went terribly wrong and his career ended up on the line. It was supposed to be hilarious, and although there were a couple of laughs at the start, most of the book left me shaking my head in disbelief – me and football never did become very well acquainted anyway. Technically that’s not entirely true – during a game at primary school, the soccer ball was kicked by the goal keeper and landed right on top of my head. Not funny!
Additionally, and no offence to the man’s memory, but John Forbes and his Collected Poems – eh, sheesh! Not going to read you again my friend!

Series you started and need to finish – don’t have one yet…

Three of your all time favourite books – Dacked by Andrew Daddo, probably a Harry Potter book and William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I have never been too good at valuing which is my all time favorite books because I often find them to be equal if I enjoyed them.

Unapologetic Fanboy of:  William Shakespeare, John Donne, Andrew Marvell, Tara Mokhtari

Very excited for the release more of – I have been thinking of George R.R Martin and his fantasy series since I am a major fan of the TV show Game of Thrones, and if I start his book collection, I will have to see it through…

Worst book habit – if someone borrows my books and they do anything, I mean anything to them – break the spine, curl a corner of the page, spill something on it – then that person had better run, else my wrath will reign down upon them – basically, my worst book habit is that I am a book Nazi – do not hurt my books or I will hurt you!

X marks the spot (start from the top left of a bookshelf and go along to the 27th book what is it?) Looks like our winner is Muddle Earth from Paul Stewart and Chris Riddle

Latest Book Purchase – it was, funnily enough, a reader for one of my university subjects called Text Time and Space – truly a riveting read (by the way I am being sarcastic)

ZZZ -snatcher book (last book that kept you up all hours of the night) Hasn’t happened in a while, but it might have been Stephen King’s Misery, but this was a few years ago. I try to do my reading during the day as to not be consumed by it come nightfall. I have some kind of insomnia (don’t ask me which, I ain’t no doctor) and if my mind is too active when I go to bed, that sure ain’t going to help matters either.

Well, thank you to PM for telling me about this meme. Quite a fun exercise ma’am!

Confessions of a Coffee Addict

I know, I know! I haven’t posted anything recently on this particular blog of mine, but fear not (if you were fearing) for I have found a topic that I wish to discuss! (Wild applause)

Ever since Riva disappeared from the shelves, I have been desperately searching for a replacement to supplement my love of coffee. More often than not I am disappointed by the lack of taste or general weakness that a particular blend provides, but upon smelling the fragrance of the Avalanche Duo, and noticing that it was the first coffee since Riva that smelt genuine, I thought I was onto something special.

You will notice I am speaking in past tense, yes – well, that will be revealed soon!

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I always heave two mounds into my cup, with one mound of sugar and no milk (I have always felt that milk deafens the taste). Basically, there are no difficult steps that need to be taken to adequately create a cup of Avalanche coffee, which is surprising because after my first cup of it I could have sworn that something had gone terribly wrong.

Now, for legal reasons, I will say this; I am not a professional reviewer, and this opinion is simply my own!

Okay, now back onto the review…

The first thing I noticed was that each mouthful of Avalanche Duo is thick. Riva and every other coffee blend I have ever drunk was thin, like water, and easily slid down my throat, and unless I am drinking cappuccino, I cannot imagine why a regular coffee would be as thick as this. If that is not enough, the drink is also quite sticky, and it felt as though there was something caught on my teeth, which is the last thing I need to feel whilst attempting to enjoy myself. Drinking coffee is meant to be a relaxing pastime right, not an annoying one?

If this is not enough, although Avalanche Duo smells like coffee, it tastes much different than what I was initially expecting. Instead of tasting, well, like coffee, Avalanche Duo has what I might call a fake chocolate taste to it. Safe to say, if I wanted the equivalent of hot chocolate, I would have bought that rather than coffee.

Lastly, and this is the most important part I realised, the last mouthful, albeit, rather large mouthful, was filled with sludge. Now, I called the hotline for Avalanche Coffee, (which was in New Zealand by the way so I am guessing my phone bill this month is going to be bigger than my ego) and I was told that this is meant to be this way. You see, 15% of this particular coffee is Infused Fresh Coffee, and this is what is supposed to happen when this particular variant is used, although I for the life of me cannot see how this is in anyway tolerated. Imagine drinking a cup of tea, and in the last couple of mouthfuls finding yourself choking on all of the leaves that have spilled out from the bag? That is how this is like, and as you might imagine it was quite a shock for someone who was not at all expecting this, and just as much the second time when this moron forgot what had happened the day before. Imagine that? Forgetful much?

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There is however a way around this issue. If you are like me, you don’t drink your coffee immediately after you make it; you have your lunch/snack, before beginning to savor your coffee afterwards once it has cooled down by a couple of degrees. This is the problem. If you do not drink Avalanche Duo immediately after stiring it, the coffee will accumulate at the bottom in a sludge after returning to its original state. So, if you drink your coffee like I do, you need to stir it again before proceeding to drink – although I must admit one quick stir will not suffice – you need to really put some elbow grease in there, and then it should be alright. Only once though, over the course of the four times I have had Avalanche Duo, have I not had to suffer the sludge at the bottom of my cup.

My concluding review? Well, this is just my opinion and you dear reader may actually enjoy it. I however, a guy who does not believe in wasting food; good, bad or indifferent, cannot wait to finish the bottle that I bought. Must buy? For me, nope, never again I am afraid!

If you have tasted Avalanche Duo and have your own opinion, please comment if you wish.

Thank you for reading, and have a good day! Oh, and good coffee too!