Haddaway don’t wanna be hurt no more – funnily enough, neither do I…Valentine’s Day: Is it a Gift; a Curse, or an Unnecessary Risk


Quintessentially, Valentine’s Day is an annually celebrated occasion about the discovery and celebration of love. The occasion however leaves no room for any alternate conceptions on the subject of romance. Please, allow me to explain…There are many notions on how there is somebody out there for each of us. There is another idea which dictates for every person is seven possible paramours, and you simply need to find one of them for eternal happiness. To believe in such romantic ideologies however, one must then acknowledge the opposite believe. This is the same for religion – if one believes in a Heavenly paradise awaiting us on the other side, then a fiery Hell must additionally be something that an individual with religiously spiritual views believes in. What I mean is – if one believes there is someone out there for everyone, then they must also believe that some people are simply destined to be alone. Valentine’s Day however does not leave room for such a belief, and for those who are destined to make their way through life without anyone by their side, Valentine’s Day makes that eternal suffering all the more difficult to live through.

I have always wondered why Valentine’s Day is such an important occurrence which takes place annually in our society. Christmas, Easter – these are primarily religiously oriented occurrences and so it makes sense that these would be celebrated. Birthday’s too are a celebrative occurrence which annually recognises one’s birth into this world. Anniversaries of partners and married couples I also believe have merit because this is a personal interaction between two people who love each other and are celebrating yet another year together. Remembrance Days additionally enable us the time to remember those who died patriotically to defend our shores, and although those who personally lost loved ones remember daily, those that have not lost relatives to the wars sometimes take their liberties for granted, and these specific days remind them of the tremendous sacrifice it takes to protect a country from barbarity.

Which of course brings me to Valentine’s Day. Now I am no zealous monster who has purposely singled out Valentine’s Day because I am waging a personal vendetta against love, and I am not doing so because I had a bad experience on such a ‘romantic’ occasion. I am doing so for the sole reason because I believe it is actually a little, how do I phrase this, ah, yes – pointless.

To be perfectly honest, not once have I ever had a Valentine; nor have I ever been someone’s Valentine. Reading this post, perhaps you will develop your own reasons as to why. Whenever I have been involved with a certain young woman during any Valentine’s Day, we have simply proceeded as though it is just an ordinary day. True, I have always insisted on taking my partner at the time to a fanciful restaurant or something of reminiscent beauty, but I’ve never made a big deal out of it like some other people do.

Now, perhaps you think I’m a hypocrite – I say I don’t make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day – yet in the past I’ve taken my then partners out to dinner – does that not mean I am acknowledging the event? Well, I fear if I had not taken my then partners out, that they may have become my ex-partners sooner rather than later due to my inability to do such a thing, whilst all of their friends spent the day been pampered by their lovers. Basically, I would do so to keep the woman who had stolen my heart happy, unlike others who simply go outrageously over the top.

Which brings me to the reason as to why I write this post.

Why have Valentine’s Day? I have asked this before, but really, why? Think about it; you love somebody with all of your heart – why do you need one day of the year to tell them; to show them how much they mean to you. Do you not convey to them that they mean the whole world to you all the other 364 days of the year (365 in a Leap year)?

Why would you wait for that one occasion to be tragically romantic? Why wait for that one day to buy your lover a huge bouquet of flowers? A big box of chocolates? A card outlining your undying feelings? A poem about a romance everlasting? A night at a luxurious restaurant?

If you really love somebody, do you not show them on a daily basis how much they mean to you? Are you expected to show them how much you love them on Valentine’s Day, and every other day of the year simply pretend they do not exist?

Why do people need an excuse to be genuinely romantic, which is what Valentine’s Day is – a reason to not be afraid to show your feelings. Is that not an insult – is not Valentine’s Day making the implication that people in general are too frightened of commitment and romance that we all need a twenty four hour window to be stupid in love? Why can’t we be like that any day? Every day? In fact, aren’t we?

So, what makes Valentine’s Day so special? We still love the people we fell for just as much as we do on every other occasion. Our feelings do not miraculously change overnight, do they? We do not become any more romantic, but we certainly do not become any less.

Negatively speaking, for those of us come Valentine’s Day who are either single, just making our way out from a bad break-up, have not had a partner in a few years or who have as much chance of having a ‘Valentine’ as they do of ever going to the planet Jupiter, Valentine’s Day is nothing more than an unnecessary in your face reminder that we are hopelessly alone. As we watch those who are happily enjoying the occasion with the one’s they love, we are again reminded that we do not have the opportunity to present anyone with such affection, and we are moreover reminded that there is nobody out there who at that very moment romantically cares about us.

What is your opinion?

Am I simply an angry young man who should shut up, get laid, and quit writing annoying posts like this?

Am I partially right, but at the same time wrong, and Valentine’s Day is actually a special occasion because people in fact do need an excuse to be stupid and foolhardy in love?

Am I so amazingly correct that I should be granted a Pulitzer for what I have written here?

Or is there something else that you might like to add?

By all means, have your say – or don’t, entirely your prerogative.

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day. I may not be its biggest fan, but I am in no way suggesting that others should simply not bother acknowledging it on my account.

Have a great day!

2 comments on “Haddaway don’t wanna be hurt no more – funnily enough, neither do I…Valentine’s Day: Is it a Gift; a Curse, or an Unnecessary Risk

  1. You are indeed so amazingly correct that you deserve a Pulitzer. I really dislike Valentine’s Day, and I feel a rant of my own coming. Like you said, it just reminds all the single people that they are alone. It’s like rubbing it in their faces, “Ha ha, you’re a loser and no one loves you!” The people who are with someone are, well, with someone. They know it. They don’t need a holiday to tell them so. It’s not, like, “Gee, I have a girlfriend? I’m sure glad Valentine’s Day is here so I knew that.” Likewise, the people who are alone are well aware they are alone. Why remind them? I, too, have never had a Valentine or been one. And I am perfectly fine being single. There are many people who lose the will to live because they are single, but I am perfectly content as I am. Until Valentine’s Day comes around to rub in my face, “No one’s thinking of you. That bully in school got lots of flowers on Valentine’s Day, but not you. Even she had more people who liked her, you loser!” Even if you are happy being single, you still can’t help but feel like crap on Valentine’s Day to watch everyone else getting attention while you are singled out. Like the day where I recently started a new school, and one girl handed out, I forgot which, either candy or birthday invitations to everyone right in front of me, but passed me up. That’s what Valentine’s Day is, but on a grander scale.

    Who invented a day to further depress people who are unhappy with being single or to make those who are happy being single still feel left out? What sadistic holiday is that? Let’s have a holiday celebrating eyesight to make all the blind people feel even sadder or a holiday celebrating people with full use of all their limbs, to make all the disabled people feel left out? Is it that much different?

    Plus, it feels so fake. Like you said, don’t they love the person all the other days of the year? It’s so silly when I go to the grocery store for something on Valentine’s, and all these guys are in line with a last-second card and some flowers for their wife or girlfriend. Is that the true meaning of Valentine’s Day? We rush out that morning and buy the person we care about the first object we find? No thought was likely put into it if you had to wait until the morning of the holiday to buy it. And everyone buys the same exact thing. Flowers, box of chocolates, card, jewelry, or those creepy oversized stuffed animals with unnatural colors and shapes on them. No thought must be put into that, either, when you have a limited variety of acceptable gifts to choose from, whether or not the person you care for even likes such things. Nope, those are your choices. Pick one or several. “To show you I love you, here’s a card with romantic feelings someone else wrote, plus I bought you flowers because social custom dictates I do so because there is this stereotype that all women of the world have identical personalities and like diamonds and roses and teddy bears.” Oh, how romantic. You want to make me happy and show me you care, buy me a “Halo” comic or a “Final Fantasy” action figure. Heck, a GameStop gift card will do. Not a pink stuffed bear with a heart for a nose.

    • Once again, thank you for your comment! I agree completely with all that you ranted about, especially the sexist ideologies on what people will enjoy as a gift, whether or not it is up their alley and the additionally hypocritical idea that when one buys another a card the original writing inside is not of their own making and thus meanings absolutely nothing. I also appreciate that you were able to agree with some of the points that I brought up as well. Although I do not enjoy the negative connotations that Valentine’s Day can indeed, albeit, rather unfortunately bring, I think I believe it is a moderately alright idea to at least acknowledge the effect of love, although I believe, as I stated in the post and you yourself pointed out in your comment, that people do not need a particular day to be romantic. Humans are social creatures after all and it should be an in-depth trait that all of us are capable in our own time. However, I don’t think we need to be forced into it by society in general. Love should come naturally; it should not be forced or masqueraded or anything else for that matter.
      Thank you again for your comment!

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