Daughter or Son?


Contains sexual references.

Daughter or son? Son or daughter? Who would I prefer? Now, I am yet to have children. You need a partner to have them. Well, that’s my belief. But that ain’t gonna stop me from discussing who I would prefer if I had the chance. Now, I would not use science and choose the sex of my child whilst the egg dances inside my hypothetical partner’s womb. No. I would let nature take its course. But if I am so adamant about who I want, why leave such a massive decision in the hands of chance? Why not? I can still have my hopes and wishes? Besides, science is not always right. Things can go wrong. Doctors said my mother was having a daughter. Time and time again they told her. But, I am a bloke, actual and whole. Well, I think I am. Let me check (I should probably know from how frequently my hands are in that general area) Penis? Check. Testicles? Check. No vagina or breasts? Not to my knowledge. If humanity had children by chance for so many centuries, I think I can live by such a code as well.

But that is still to answer my question, a daughter, or a son? Many guys would ask for a son to continue on the legacy of their family. Not me though. Surprised? In some parts of the world I might very well be crucified for saying I would want a daughter over a son? But why? Does it have anything to do with the fact I think women are smarter than men? Is it because I think they are more sweet, especially when they are younger? Well, it certainly wouldn’t be from having to worry about all the penises that might suddenly come chasing after her when she is of maturity. No. There are two reasons in fact. One funnily enough is Hollywood. In some films, the lead little girl is incredibly cute in the way she behaves. Like the little girl in Miracle on 34th Street – she was so incredibly smart and determined, and at such a young age. In Bioshock 2, the Little Sisters! They were so adorable in what they said – so sweet and polite.

The second reason, and this is the more pertinent one funnily enough – is the name. When it comes to creating names for women, I believe I have a certain ability for it. Not so much for blokes though. I would love to have a daughter as to name her Wilhelmina (Billie for short), Ophelia, Tamika, Tanyr, Prish, Dominica, Aayla, Aria, Tricisca (Trick for short), Lizabella and so on and so forth. (Might need more than one daughter to ensure any, if not all of these names can be used).

On another note, when the young lady enters puberty and begins to get her period – yeah, that ain’t gonna fill me with happiness – especially since I won’t know a single thing about how to accommodate her. Don’t worry, I know enough to know where to put the contraption (I’m talking about the tampon, although I wouldn’t know which one to buy cuz, have you seen how many brands? There are billions of them! Who would have guessed there needs to be so many kinds! They dry up liquid and stop it from going everywhere! How many kinds of devices do you need to do that very same job? Millions it would appear!) and what generally happens – but I’ve never had to talk a person through it – and I have no personal experience so how could I possibly know how much agonising pain she/they are going through?

But that is one issue I am certain I could live through unscarred. To see her grow up (with one of those names) would be quite the joy. Plus, what she would turn into! Another awesome occurrence! Well, I would not mind having a daughter who was incredibly smart, you know, a smart chick who was quite foxy in her own way. A daughter who was passionate about certain issues and was not scared to voice her concerns. A daughter who eventually joined the army and kicked arse on the front line as well as any male soldier. And I wouldn’t mind a daughter who eventually grew up to become a gothic lesbian in a heavy metal rock band who sang, played guitar and wowed audiences all over the globe (wouldn’t have to worry about boyfriends and penises then). (btw, I’m not gay, I just wouldn’t mind a gothic lesbian is all – who was tattooed too, don’t forget that, needs lots of tats! And studs!).

I mean these things – these are things you cannot ask of a son I don’t think. Especially the lesbian part. The only thing I would fear is losing them before I had left this Earth. And not to be greedy, but I don’t wanna check out for at least another cool few decades. That is the one thing I could not stand. To go through raising a child – feeding her, playing with her, paying for her, and of course, loving her with all my heart. Only to have the police arrive on my front porch when she had only just turned eighteen and say ‘Mr. Nefarious, your daughter has been in an accident’, that ‘accident’ been either a drunk driver or a deranged lunatic with a knife wanting a quick buck from her wallet, or a rapist who wanted a little more than just the money.

That, like I said, I could not take, nor could anyone. I realise it is a fear any parent has, but I guess the risk in the end is worth it. But how do they get past that fear? I’m not sure I could. My upbringing was not exactly a paradise. My parents were fine – they gave me almost everything I ever asked for. School however, and an awful lot of places outside of the home – that was an entirely different matter. Now, I realise many people have had lives far worse than mine; lives that make mine look like a walk in the park. But people do not get better. They get worse. Murder and other such crimes have never been higher than they are today. Those perpetrators are only going to get worse. Students kill each other at school now. And in the future, it will be a lot worse for the next generation. My question is, how can I guarantee my child’s safety, when I cannot guarantee mine now whenever I leave the house? I mean, I’m  a bloke, someone who is considered to be tough, right? If I cannot be one hundred per cent sure I can leave the house in the morning and return home that night with all my bits and pieces still attached, how can I protect my child in the future?

But if I don’t have a daughter, then how can I give her one of those names and watch her grow up to be a gothic lesbian in a band, or engage in any other possible career path? I guess this is just one of those times when you simply must run the risk to earn the reward. And what a reward it could be.

Naughty Nefarious, signing off.


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